A West Australian teenager used a school exam as a “cry for help” that never came. By the time his parents saw what he had written it was too late.
Cohen Fink, who was sitting his Year 12 mid-year exams in May of 2019, scribbled notes on the pages of at least one of his exam papers that his parents say should’ve been recognised by teachers and staff as alarming behaviour.
Instead, it was ignored. Within days, Cohen had taken his own life.
“In one of those exams he rewrote questions, wrote questions back to front and as if in a mirror, drew pictures, wrote the phonetic alphabet, quoted dark song lyrics and YouTubers,” his mother Pamella Fink told news.com.au.
“When he was due to go back to school after the exam weekend, he ended his life. Within a few days the school informed us of the alarming things he did in his exams and dropped off copies to our house.
“We were so shocked no one had thought to alert us to him basically deliberately failing his exams and the things he wrote in his exams.”
Mental health and suicide are not easy subjects to talk about, but news.com.au wants young Australians to know they’re Not Alone.
News.com.au’s Not Alone will raise awareness about these issues and provide people with the resources they need to reach out for help.
We will also tell you how you can support the mental health of the young people in your life, whether as a parent, friend, teacher or just as a fellow Aussie.
In email correspondence between staff members at Cohen’s school, seen by news.com.au, one staff member writes: “ … after marking Cohen’s exam on Thursday night, I spoke to (blank) first thing Friday morning and showed her his exam.
“His responses weren’t concerning in the details of what he had written, but it was a change in his behaviour to write as he did. None of his answers were related to the question – they were all random words, such as foods, the alphabet, the question and instructions rewritten, song lyrics.”
Cohen’s parents have been pushing for information about what the school knew and how staff acted in the lead-up to their son’s death.
The teen has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and was seeing a psychologist. His parents disclosed his mental health diagnosis to his school but say they “received no response”.
After speaking directly with the school psychologist, the family was told senior staff would be made aware of the situation so they could monitor his behaviour.
Mr and Mrs Fink used Freedom of Information requests to uncover “emails, notes and incident reports” that they say showed at least three of his teachers had “serious concerns for his mental health”.
“Their concerns were raised with several senior staff members, the teachers were told to contact us, and no one did because ‘they didn’t know what to say’,” Mrs Fink says.
“One teacher even noted that she felt the content of Cohen’s exams were a cry for help. Another excuse as to why no one contacted us was that they didn’t want to exacerbate Cohen’s issues by talking to him about their concerns.”
In the months two years since Cohen’s suicide, the Finks have made it their mission to ensure no other student’s cries for help are ignored.
“My advice to other parents is to make sure plans are in place when first telling their children’s schools about their children’s mental health issues,” Mrs Fink says.
“We had no idea when we first told the school that there were things that could’ve been put in place to help support Cohen because the school never told us.
“It’s only since losing Cohen we have learnt that the school didn’t follow guidelines to help support him and have the lines of communication open to help him.”
His parents said they did everything possible to support their son – including having very open conversations with him about his mental health.
“Looking back on that last week, I can honestly say we saw no signs at home but while he was at school, he was exhibiting concerning signs, and no one thought to share their concerns with us,” Mrs Fink says.
“It’s still really hard for us to reconcile that his school were discussing their concerns for Cohen’s mental health among themselves but never discussed it with his parents.
“We agree with the proverb that it takes a village to raise a child, we see the village as a circle and parents, extended family and schools are a part of that circle and if one part of that circle is broken then that is when kids can fall through the cracks.
“I guess there will always be questions that we will never have answers to but as parents that have lost a child to suicide we just want to prevent another family from having to experience the shock and disbelief and the enormous grief that comes along with losing a child.
“We need to all work together to help our kids.”
Cohen’s parents say their youngest child “was the final piece of our puzzle”. They say losing him has left a hole that cannot be filled.
“He was always very inquisitive, always eager to learn, stubborn, he was extremely polite, had a very dry sense of humour, loyal, loving and always wanted the best for his friends and family.
“He was unapologetically honest if you wanted the truth you went to Cohen. He had a keen interest in flying and had been learning to become a pilot and flew his first solo flight at 15.
“He had been learning the piano since he was 11 and we think that when he was playing the piano that was when he felt the calmest and his anxiety lessened. His little cousins idolised him and I just wished he could see how much everyone would miss him.”
Online, the family is continuing to pay tribute to Cohen. The page is appropriately titled: Thumbs up for Cohen – Suicide prevention is everybody’s business.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7r7HWrGWcp51jrrZ7y6Kdnqukrrmme8eemKWsmGS6prrTmqNmoJWWubW0jqemrWWRobyvsYytnJ6mo2Kyua3MZqWorJWoerix0Z5kmmWTp8Zuss6rZKGdnKV8r7HWrGSsrJ%2BnxnCFk3JwmpyVaq6lfpJpbGlslWqzcYKRmnBpnWFrr3WykA%3D%3D